i just wanna dance :D

man~ana hay una fiesta para los salseros del world centre, y tengo uuuuuunas ganas de bailar! hace tiempo que no salgo a bailar, asi que hay que cobrar tiempo perdido...

jo, the girl in the photo, has been to costa rica several times, and we're both wishing we could be there for paul and lorena's wedding... parece que medio mundo va estar ahi, el la otra mitad deseando estar con ellos ~ va ser increible...

the conference of the continental counsellors is taking place this week, so there's an amazing energy in the air... staff at the bwc got the copy of the letter from the house of justice to the conference today, and it's an amazing document... it's such an exciting time!!!
i've had lunch with tata, vargitas, juanfra, and helen the last few days, and it's been so nice to catch up with them :D but i guess eventually the ticos will have to start spending time with other people! (sigh!)
it's going to be a busy week, with classes every night and a breakfast devotional this weekend at my flat, and a salsa party on friday (jejeje...)
have to prepare for a study circle that starts tonight, i'm acting as the tutor for book 5, which i only semi-finished (not the first time i've only semi-finished a book... hmmm...) i'm thinking of having a lot of "guest tutors" come talk about different aspects, like storytelling, and drama, and have a group come sing for us... should be nice :)

mamita called me last night, worried after reading yesterday's entry... but all is well, it's not so much sadness as it is reflection... i've actually had a really nice couple of days, there was a pacific devotional the other night, and it was awesome to see everyone again, and then yesterday i finally ran into all the ticos who are visiting-- so funny to be sitting in the lunch room in haifa, israel, and see tata and vargitas and juanfra walk down the stairs... and then to run into helen in the hall! plus, last night i ate dinner with the khadems and got to see pictures of niaz in bolivia, along with photos of paul and lorena (who, by the way, is such an ighani already... she looks a lot like layla!)

i think though, that we're all missing home... even going to albuquerque didn't quite quench my craving for family... "just visiting" isn't the same as being around all the time... and i haven't gotten in touch with eriquita in forever! if you read this, i'll try and call tonight, yeah?

work has been interesting... so many people in the office are running around like crazy, working ridiculous hours because of the counsellor's conference, and meanwhile, i'm on the web for a lot of the day, just trying to keep my mind occupied when there isn't much to do... maybe that's where all the nostalgia came from... hmmm....

talking to a friend today, she said that she is at the point where is is ready to submit to the will of god, no matter what it is... to step aside and let him drive the car and see where she ends up. inevitably she will end up in an amazing place, one that she could never have imagined.
it's still incredibly hard sometimes to deal with everything that's happened, to conformarme con la voluntad de dios, aun si significa aceptar que pancho no va volver, que el corazon de miguel nunca latio y que no lo voy a conocer. but then i realize that even so, this place i'm at now, not even necesarrily serving in the holy land, but this emotional point where i feel strangely detached from my past life(s), from all the places i've lived and even from friends that i used to feel almost obsessively connected to... it's new, but good.
i'm almost at the point that my friend is at, to willingly give myself over to whatever god has planned for me (not that i ever had control to begin with, but...) it's really scary to think that again, it might be something that will be so painful and completely opposite to my own will...
i wish there was a way to know where we're all going to end up. to know if my sisters and i will ever all live close enough to not have to take a plane to see eachother, if i'll get to help raise all our kids together, if we'll all find this bliss that everyone seems to be searching for, or if we're meant to suffer by living apart.
i get these waves of homesickness, not for places or even times in my life, but for people.

what if the will of god is more pain?

...sheqels from heaven, they say...

it's been raining for two days straight, no ha parado de llover ~ por las noches me duermo escuchando la lluvia caer, y en la man~nana me despierto con los truenos y relampagos... para llegar a mi oficina curzo un rio torrencial en la calle, y el paraguas no sirve de mucho porque llueve de arriba, de abajo, de los lados ~

lo bueno es que todos los colores se amplifican con la lluvia, asi que no hay un white christmas, mas bien una navidad multitono, donde no hay luces en las ventanas, pero donde las flores demanadan tu atencion con su llamado colorido y donde el desierto se torna verde de la nada...

~*~ sasha layli ~*~

why oh why must she be so cute? :)

i miss being there already... fue una experiencia inolivdable...

no snow as of yet...

it's officially the first day of winter today, and all the frangipangis have lost their blooms... sigh.

~este an~o ha pasado volando, tantos viajes, tantos recuerdos... y ya casi se nos va~

me acuerdo de los inviernos en chile, de las heladas, de las caminatas entre el instituto y la casa del pancho, entumidos, combatiendo el viento y la lluvia, arrumados a la orilla de la carretera evadiendo los camiones y los buses que pasaban a todo chancho... y aun en esas condiciones seguimos poloelando... jejeje...

aca no hacetanto frio, pero si hay una llovizna constante... en las man~anas me cuesta levantarme, pero estaria mintiendo si digo que es por el frio... es por pura flojera no mas! dicen que normalmente en esta epoca esta mas helado.... eso de global warming de repente me cae bien... jeje

hoy voy a ver si me consigo otro departamento... ya voy saliendo para ver si me gusta el lugar...

~*~ sasha leyli ~*~

sasha leyli pyburn nacio el 6 de diciembre a las 11:26 de la man~ana... menos de 24 horas despues de mi llegada a albuquerque!!! parece que esta nenita estaba esperando que llegara su tia para recibirla :) fue tan increible verla nacer, aria tan fuerte durante todo el parto y james un apoyo increible para ella. nacio rodeada de amor, y tengo la certeza absoluta de que va ser una chica maravillosa... (o sera que simplemente soy una tia orgullosa? jejeje)

~*~ sounds of the world ~*~

more photos at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/snugglylion/album?.dir=661c&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//photos.yahoo.com/ph//my_photos

~ laughter ~

ayer me entro una tristeza, de la nada... no se si fue por nostalgia, o por circumstancias, o por la posicion de la luna en mi signo del zodiaco... total, hoy desperte con ganas de reirme a carcajadas, ansiosa de ver mi familia en un par de dias mas, sentirme en casa ~ hay tantos momentos de alegria aca, pero tambien hay una soledad que solo se conoce cuando te das cuenta de que la gente que te rodea solo te han conocido por un par de meses, y empiezas a sentir la necesidad de tener tu familia y tus amistades del alma cerca...

pero hoy, hoy me voy a reir a carcajadas :D

daydreaming

my day has floated by in a haze of daydreams ~ this morning, i was off in my little imaginary world, enjoying my imaginary life, giggling at all the thrilling things happening in my imaginary existence... and missed my stop to get off the bus!! jejeje... an old israeli man was poking my shoulder for a full minute before i even noticed that he was trying to get my attention, pointing out the window at the other baha'istas outside the bus waving frantically for me to get off before the bus drove away!!! ay, diosito lindo, despistada total que soy!!! twice today i've started walking somewhere to do something oh-so-important and realized halfway there that i have no idea where i'm going or why i'm going there... cuz my daydreams envelop me completely~ jijiji

~*~ dia sagrado ~*~

rosa solitaria en la casa de Abdullahpasha en Akka

dos dias atras tuve la oportunidad de visitar la pieza donde fallecio 'Abdu'l-Baha...y anoche se conmemoro su ascencion a la media noche, con 1000 personas, entre ellos peregrinos, visitas, y voluntarios del centro mundial, con un programa devocional en la sede de la casa de justicia, y luego con la lectura de las tablas de visitacion en las escaleras del edificio, mirando al santuario. un mar de almas caminando hacia el santuario, cirumbalando la tumba del maestro, rezando en silencio...

y hoy, simplemente tratando de mantenerme despierta, despues de una experiencia mas parecida a suen~o que realidad, algo tan mistico...

~ mi lugar favorito ~

cada vez que voy al santuario del bab,

camino hacia mi arbol favorito,

y me paro debajo de el,

mirando el mar,

disfrutando de la brisa,

y asi siento a pancho tan cerca de mi...

es nuestro lugar de encuentro,

el lugar en donde el mundo material desaparece

y nuestras conversaciones surgen,

en un idioma que no tiene palabras ni sonidos...

~*~ akka ~*~

el mar en akka... precioso...

este fin de semana visite akka, una ciudad como a una hora de haifa, en donde Baha'u'llah estuvo encarcelado por tantos an~os... tuve la oportunidad de visitar dos casas dentro de la ciudad prision en donde vivio El o Su familia... fue un dia increible, realmente... hay un dicho musulman que dice que un mes en akka es mejor que mil an~os en cualquier otro lugar... tan sagrado que es...

~ stairs ~

if nothing else, i will leave haifa with strong legs and bruised shins! :D

a new cultura

things i've learned en haifa...
~ sleeping time is most precious, cannot misuse it for things slightly less precious like reading and socializing ~
~ smiling knowlingly at a new couples before they've been "outed" is a bad, bad thing! ~
~ must accept that the work will keep rolling in, even if i don't feel like doing it ~
~ prayer is good ~

~ three more weeks ~

it seems this blogging thing is taking over normal communication... might as well join in the fun :D yesterday marked three-months since i arrived in haifa, and its has flown by in a way that you would not believe... i feel so at home here so far, even though my apartment still feels cold and beige (erg), and slowly by slowly i am becoming myself again, whoever that is, all i know is that it feels right somehow. before i got here me arrepenti de haber dicho that i was coming... 30 months seemed like forever, and it all started happening just as soon as i felt it was becoming more and more important to be close to family... but then, milagro de milagros, i was granted permission to go back and be with aria for the birth of (*)... it completely confirmed that this is the right place for me to be, and that even though it means i am far away for the dia a dia, i can be with mi familia en todos los momentos importantes...

i am so happy to be on my way, to go see her pansota, to hopefully be there as lil lil makes his (ok, so maaaaaybe "her") way into this world, to be present at such a tremendous event!! jejeje todos me molestan por estar tan obsesionada con eso de dar a luz, pero insisto que es algo tan maravilloso e importante, y que hay que llenar el ambiente con tanto amor, para que la guagua nazca sintiendose imerso en un oceano de luz...

just three more weeks... i hope beyond hope that nature's plans coincide with my own!